About Me

Who Am I?

A.

I’m “A”. I’m a human person in my late 20s and I’m here to write about my thoughts and experiences with regards to identifying as trans and then subsequently detransitioning. Want my street cred?

Testosterone

I was on testosterone for 22 months, from 2016 – 2018. My dose was 0.5ML 200MG/ML approximately every other week. I stopped cold turkey and as of 6 months have not experienced side effects from doing so.

Surgery

I had a double mastectomy (double-incision top surgery with grafts) in early 2017. My surgeon is US-based and very well-known. Aesthetically, my results are good. I only regret having had the procedure, not my choice of surgeon. I have no plans to have reconstruction at this time, as I feel I would be unhappy with either a) the introduction of foreign objects to my body via implants or b) further grafting.

My (De)Trans Timeline

I first began actively thinking of myself as trans when I was 16 years old. When I was around 22-23, I discovered gender critical writing. I hated it at first, but a lot of it resonated with me. Since my dysphoria was still around, I came to consider myself a transmedicalist.

But the main focus of GC theory isn’t treating dysphoria directly, so although there’s talk of alternate treatments, I did not ultimately find what I needed to ease mine. I did not realize it at the time, but I ended up attempting to suppress my dysphoria, rather than learning to manage it. I had a breakdown when I turned 25. I changed my name and scheduled surgery that same year.

I started escitalopram in early 2018. I stopped taking testosterone only a couple months after doing so. Although I don’t think medication is necessary for everyone, I believe I personally needed itI was not thinking clearly due to a) the length of time I had held my beliefs and b) my decade-long struggle with depression and anxiety. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I had a future again. I could think long-term, broadly, and rationalize. Dysphoria- being trans- no longer made sense in that paradigm.

As of now, I don’t really care much about my identity. I’m just a person, going about doing person things. I like writing and drawing. I’m pint-sized, brown-haired, and if you must know, my sex is female. That’s about it!